How Mindfulness Changed my Mindset!
Have you ever heard of the idea that we can speak things into existence? Did you also know that we can think things into existence as well? Our minds are so powerful and sometimes we don’t even notice. Like, it took me some years to recognize how my negative thoughts aided in me having a life I wasn’t happy with. I didn’t notice that as a result of me focusing so much on what I didn’t want, God or the universe gave me more of the very things I was hoping to avoid. I was looking for happiness from the people and experiences in my life when true happiness comes from within. I was unconsciously giving away the power that was on the inside of me to everyone else and living a life that I didn’t create.
I’m currently reading, Self Matters by Dr. Phillip McGraw and it really has me thinking about my most authentic self and what that truly entails. As a mother and woman in today’s society, we play so many different roles every single day and that in itself can be exhausting. Most times, while giving so much of ourselves to the people we love and our responsibilities, we forget who we really are. In the book, it talks about the medical implications of not living our authentic selves and how our lives are affected. I don’t know about you but I’m not interested in losing any years off my life because I’m busy living for everyone else and not myself. “If you are ignoring who you really are, your entire “system” is so distressed that it will wear out, and you will be old beyond your years. Forcing yourself to be someone you are not, or stuffing down who you really are, is incredibly taxing” (McGraw, p.17).
First, we need to take inventory of who we are. Who is your most authentic self? What are you motivated by? What are your feelings about yourself and the choices you have made thus far? What experiences in your life have made you fearful? In order to uncover who you are at the core of your being, you have to be honest about who you are right now in comparison to the person you are striving to become. I lived in fear for so many years and most recently came to the realization that I felt like some of my life’s choices were a disappointment to the people who loved me and that I always looked to make them proud even if it wasn’t what I really wanted. My brain was allowing the pressures and judgement of others to write the story of my life.
There was a period of my life where I blamed everyone else for my unhappiness. In particular, my SO ruined my life...in my head. If he wouldn’t have made me fall in love with him and bear two beautiful children as a result, I wouldn’t have struggled so much. If only his past trauma and experiences didn’t make him shut down and suck at communication at times, we could have a better relationship. If only he had more money, then we could live a more comfortable life. Or, if only I had listened to my parents versus my heart, life would be different. I hated smiling and pretending to be happy every day when I went to work and then come home and anxiety slapped my a** in the face as soon as I opened the door. I hated the way it made me irritable and fussing at the kids for simply being kids. I knew something had to change and that it was probably me. I was right...it was ME!!I had some work to do.
Somehow, I needed to change my fixed mindset to more of a growth mindset. I had to be open to doing things differently if I wanted a different outcome. I had to get out of my own way and out of my comfort zone to find out who I really am and explore the greatness that’s been buried on the inside of me. I began meditating every day and reading self-help and other motivational books to help me navigate this journey. I still have so much more work to do but I am so grateful for the space that I am in at this present moment. I see my SO in a different light. While he is not perfect and neither am I, my limited beliefs prevented me from appreciating him for who he is and loving him unconditionally. Because I am in a better space, we all are! Are you ready to get out of your own way?!?
Don’t you think you deserve a life filled with happiness? I know I do and I’m going after every bit of it! That doesn’t mean that negative experiences or thoughts won’t arise. It just means you are capable of changing your thoughts around these situations and not dwell in that negative space. Our lives as we know it right now are a result of some key events that took place and how we interpreted and responded to them. For most of us, that includes negative experiences that has us living in fear. We are unable to see beyond what’s in front of us because we are too focused on the past. How can we move forward if we are still looking backwards? It’s time to own our s*** for what it is and the lessons it has taught us and use that as fuel for growth. You may be thinking, “that’s easier said than done!” and that’s true but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Girl...You got this! You’re stronger and braver than you think! There is greatness on the inside of you and it’s time for you to pull it out! If you need a friend along the way, don’t hesitate to reach out to me!