I am TIRED! Tired of all the uncertainty due to the coronavirus. Tired of feeling trapped in the house with my own kids. Tired of the roller coaster of emotions my children go through on a daily basis. Tired of my own damn roller coaster of emotions. Tired of anxiety. Tired of being scared to hang out with my friends and loved ones. Tired of being damn tired!
Sometimes, I feel like I’m a bad mom because I sincerely just want to be left alone. Like, I want to disappear for a bit just so I don’t have to hear any more whining, crying, bickering or complaining. I don’t mean going to the grocery store to steal a moment of peace. That used to be my little piece of sanity but now I get anxiety just thinking about going. I mean like the invisible, you don’t see me type of disappear!
I’ve always been a gentle parent at heart and had to learn some more tips and strategies to be a more conscious parent. I’m still learning but I know for a fact I have instilled some emotional coping strategies in my girls at this point. However, neither one of them are consistently using them these days and one seems to be in straight rebellion mode. Although, I know I’ve struggled a bit myself to keep it together and not take things personally...I am still trying.
I am human. I fall short. I make mistakes. I am human. I have feelings. Sometimes, I feel like my kids forget that I have feelings and they get hurt sometimes. I don’t know if I should take it as a compliment that I do motherhood so effortlessly that it seems like I am a walking, talking, breathing robot or be offended that my feelings aren’t considered. I know they are still children but do I not have the right to feel how I feel?
I sure do and I’m damn sure going to tell them! While I don’t necessarily give my children the power to control how I feel...I do want them to know how something they said or did made me feel. I talk to them in a respectful way so they have a model for how to express their feelings in the future. I want them to not only be aware of their own feelings but also how they are making others feel. For tips on communicating with your child, check out this article from the Austrailian Parenting Website Good communication with children: tips
Motherhood is hard as hell! I am tired but I am not giving up. Sometimes we feel like our children are not paying attention to what we are saying and what behaviors we are modeling but trust me they are! This is a reminder from one tired mother to another….be gentle with yourself! If you need a break, take a damn break!
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